logo

From Houston to Don Draper's office, everyone knows Rex Ryan owns the Texans

Written by Buddy Crutchfield | 18 November 2010

jh

A fantasy football mastermind (and a St. Louis Blues fan!)

(I apologize for this weird, unsettling and awakward font and formatting.)

Fortunately for your sake and my mental health, I was able to interview a real Texans fan for this week's game preview. His name is Mike Kerns and he is the founder and lead writer of the prestigious Texans Tribune.

A decade-long Texans fan and lifelong Oilers fan, Mike has clearly grown disillusioned with another underperforming, overrated Houston pro football team.

At least they haven't blown a 32-point lead in a playoff game...yet.

Why has this Texans team not lived up to expectations? Is it more reflective of the players or coaches?
Good question. A question that many of us in Houston have been trying to figure out the past couple of years. If I had to make a guess I'd say it's personnel and coaching. A little of column A and a whole lot of column B.

A lot of players the team has spent high draft picks on have just flat-out missed (i.e. Amobi Okoye, Kareem Jackson, etc.). But the coaching has really set them up to fail. Kareem Jackson was nowhere close to ready to be the starter as CB1 for the first game, yet he was still thrown to the wolves.

I've been on the "Fire Kubiak" side of the fence for a long time. And he seems to have lost the rest of his supporters as now everyone in the city thinks he should be canned.
Allow me to elaborate, though.
 Frank Bush may be one of the worst defensive coordinators in the history of the NFL. Sure, the personnel isn't exactly stout, but his scheme is softer than ten boxes of Kleenex. Why do you think the opposing QB for every single game this season has looked like a pro bowler? That's one Frank and his Cover 2 game plan.

Bill Kollar, the defensive line coach, has this idea that having a line of light, quick players is going to help them evade and get to the QB easier. Looking at the results, it's been a miserable failure. Another reason the opposing QB looks so good and the Texans secondary looks so bad is because the pass rush is non-existent. Mario Williams is one of the best ends in football, but he gets double teamed (and held) every single play.

Gary Kubiak isn't doing anything this year that I haven't griped about in the past. He may be one of the worst ever at clock management and timeout usage. He doesn't hold his players or coaches under him accountable for their mistakes and his playcalling is a real head-scratching most of the time. His stubbornness to consistently stick with mediocre to bad players and ability to overthink his gameplan have Texans fans ready to drink bleach sometimes.

Be honest, is Matt Schaub the answer at quarterback?
I've believed in Matt since he was in Atlanta. And he showed last year that he has the ability to put a team on his back and take over a game. The problem is that this defense is so historically bad that he has to come out and play perfect offense for the team to even have a chance. His numbers are down this year, but not because he is declining. He actually has a running game this year in Arian Foster. Sure, he isn't playing as well as last year, but that's a pretty tough measuring stick when you consider that Matt had the sixth most prolific passing season in the history of the league.

Yes, I think Matt is still the answer at QB for this team. He doesn't have the big time arm that many wish he had, but I certainly think you can win with him. This team has a lot of problems and bad players, but Matt is certainly not one of them.

Do you feel your division is unwinnable until Peyton Manning retires?
Probably. Unlike most Texans fans who just have so much hate built up for Peyton Manning, I think when it is all said and done he will be the greatest of all time. Just look at this season, he has a bunch of practice squad players and he doesn't miss a beat. The guy is super intelligent and just a joy to watch. But it certainly isn't joyful when you have to play the guy twice a year. I think if the Titans had a better QB situation than Young/Collins, they are the closest to taking the South away from Peyton.

What is wrong with the Texans defense? I know he's not a bust, but has Mario Williams been a disappointment in any respect?
Like I said earlier, the scheme is a joke. Frank Bush fixates himself on not giving up "the big play." But in doing so, he gives receivers a five or six yard cushion and just dares the opposing QB to play pitch and catch all day. And with no pass rush, any NFL-caliber QB is going to shred that scheme.

Mario has been a disappointment in some aspects, but not many. Texans fans have fits when even Mario himself admits that he has to be made angry to play well. This is something that I feel falls on the head coach. A guy like Cowher or Gruden would never have a player on their team think like that, much less say it to the press.

I still feel that Mario was the right pick in that 2006 draft. Pretty much anyone who isn't a Saints fan agrees. But like I said earlier, he is the only real pass rushing threat on that line. So the opposition just double teams him and moves the ball to the opposite side. It's a pretty easy game plan, sadly.

How do you see Sunday's game unfolding? Final score?

If you're a Jets fan, expect to be bored with this one by the third quarter. The defense can't keep a team from scoring 30 points in a game and the Texans offense has always struggled against 3-4 defenses. I see no reason why this one is any different. Even if the Texans were playing well right now, I wouldn't feel good about this one. I'm saying 31-10, Jets. With the Texans scoring their lone touchdown in garbage time.

Editor's Thoughts: Man, I guess Sunday is going to be easier than I thought. I predicted a 27-13 Jets victory in my Q & A on Mike's website. Rex Ryan defenses have historically owned the Houston offense, and the Texans defense is ATROCIOUS! (1:10 mark) at the moment.

In case you think I made up the Rex Ryan defenses owning the Texans thing, consider that Jon Hamm, or as many of you know him, Don Draper, benched Steve Slaton (his first round pick in The Sports Guy's fantasy football league) for Week One last season because he knew how well Baltimore had played Houston in previous years.

If that is not sufficient reason to have a man-crush on Draper, in addition the fact he's a huge NHL fan, I don't know what is.

< Prev   Next >

Backyard Widget